1 Dos and Don’ts & Steps in Conflict ResolutionCalvin Nyachoti Institute of Certified Public Secretaries of Kenya

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3 Introduction One of the most challenging roles of an effective leader is that of “peacekeeper”. Requires negotiation skills, patience and a healthy dose of emotional intelligence (EI). EI defined as ‘the ability to identify, assess and control the emotions of oneself, of others and groups’.

4 Introduction cont… How can dispute resolvers tap into this EI factor to solve conflicts? In any dialogue – there are two fundamental needs: Ego need – listened to, valued, appreciated, empathized with, involved and empowered. Practical need – the reason for having the discussion/focused on solving the dispute.

5 Golden Rules of EngagementListen and respond with empathy; Be involved, involve; ask for other person’s opinions, ideas and thoughts; and Maintain and affirm self-esteem

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7 Clarify what the dispute is:Understand how the dispute began Get the heart/source of the dispute Get both sides of the disagreement Be specific – shows you are aware

8 2. Establish a common goal for both partiesLook beyond the dispute Find out both parties desired outcome of the conflict It helps if both are working towards the same goal The shared outcome is a good good starting point

9 3. Discuss ways to meet the common goalActive listening, beware of various verbal nuances and body language. Communicating, steering discussion away from finger pointing. Brainstorming together on how to make things better

10 4. Determine barriers to the common goalIdentify and get acknowledgement from both parties what may prevent resolution It will help you proactively find solutions Helps with plans to handle issues/get around issues

11 5. Agree on best way to resolve the disputeBoth parties to suggest the best solution Start by identifying solutions both parties can live with. Start with discussing each party’s responsibility on maintaining the solution (shouldn’t happen again) Shake hands/sometimes may be useful to write down

12 6. Acknowledge solution and determine each party’s responsibilityRecap Both parties must own their responsibility in the resolution Express and ideally both parties acknowledge aloud what has been agreed and their responsibility Agree on follow up where necessary

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14 The Dos and Don’ts in Conflict Resolution

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16 Important Notes – Dos Set the time and place for conflict resolutionBody language says a lot Tone of voice, choice of words - speaks volumes Maintain eye contact with whoever you are addressing

17 Important Notes – Dos cont…Active listening skills Address each person by name throughout Stick to the problem at hand Where possible, get a ‘win’ for everyone concerned otherwise there is no motivation to maintain the resolution

18 Important Notes – Dos cont…Where necessary find a third party to mediate the conflict Resolve the conflict quickly and appropritately

19 Important Notes – Don’tsDrop pre-conceived solutions Get into conflict resolution with assumptions Tell a person what is wrong with them Continue when emotions are running high

20 Important Notes – Don’ts cont..Be defensive Start to give advice too early Forgetting what you’ve been told by the parties Focus on traits that people cant change

21 Important Notes – Don’ts cont..Interrupt others when they’re speaking Avoid conflict Impose your own personal values and beliefs Approach conflict resolution with flexibility

22 Important Note Conflicts are normal Even healthyWhat matters is how we handle them

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24 Q & A