1 Lester Freckleton

2 Getting Things Done – Motivating People  Why do people fail to complete tasks?  How do we get people to complete difficult tasks?  What is our aim? Task completion or Motivation?

3 Getting Things Done  Which best describes you?

4 Control Orientation - these individuals tend to act out of extrinsic motivation, their behaviour being governed by external factors such as rewards, deadlines, and directions placed on them by others. They generally have little or low self-regulation, often feeling coerced to do a task. This exemplifies a controlled motivation type. Deci,E & Ryan, R

5 Autonomy Orientation - individuals who are autonomy oriented are self- directed, they internalise the value of their effort and willingly engage in tasks purely out of interest. These individuals are autonomously or intrinsically motivated. Deci,E & Ryan, R

6 Impersonal Orientation -are those whose initiation and regulation are perceived to be beyond a person's intentional control. People with an impersonal orientation are likely to believe that they cannot control their behaviour and consequently cannot obtain desired outcomes; their behaviour can generally be described as amotivational or helpless. Deci,E & Ryan, R

7 General Causality Orientation Quiz The quiz was designed to test your "General Causality Orientation". A's you are predominately "Autonomy Oriented" B's you are predominately "Control Oriented

8 Self Determination Theory AutonomyCompetenceRelatedness

9 Deci and Vansteenkiste claim that there are three essential elements of SDT theory: a) Humans are inherently proactive with their potential and mastering their inner forces (such as drives and emotions). b) Humans have inherent tendency toward growth development and integrated functioning. c) Optimal development and actions are inherent in humans but they do not happen automatically. Self Determination Theory

10 Tools for achieving difficult outcomes  Assume their primary motive is always survival.  Assume every behaviour has a purpose!  Assume every person is responsible for meeting their own needs and can learn a better way!  Assume a difficult person will always need to make choices.  Assume a difficult person will not change if there is no clear pay off for them.  Assume a difficult person’s behaviour is their best choice at that moment.  Assume there is not only one way to effectively communicate with a difficult person.

11 Lester Freckleton Q & A’s Getting Things Done

12 Difficult Situations Principle 1. Conflict is natural and inevitable, and can even be a source of improved relations. Principle 2. The other person is a human being with hopes and dreams too. Task Case Study Activity.

13 ‘Respect’ The bottom line.

14 What is trust? Trust is about a relationship and about the sustaining of that relationship despite uncertainty or risk. ‘A psychological state comprising the intention to accept vulnerability based upon positive expectations of the intentions or behaviour of another’ (Rousseau et al 1998). Trust

15  Learned behaviour/past experience  Personality  Mental or physical disability  Lack of motivation  Unrealistic expectations  Ego and low self-esteem  Abuse of power or status  Lack of empathy  Feeling threatened Where does difficult behaviour come from?

16 Difficult Behaviour Difficult Behaviour includes those who use…  Denial - ‘I haven’t done anything wrong’;  Rationalisation & Minimisation - ‘what do you expect me to do?’;  Diversion - ‘well, you think I’m bad, what about Bob’  Lying - ‘it wasn’t me’;  Covert intimidation - it’s not what they say, but what they do or do not do!

17 Difficult behaviour includes those who use …  Emotion - play the victim – by crying, using emotional blackmail to manipulate others if they feel they are critisised.  Seduction – by going behind your back and above your head by seducing others in an attempt to undermine you.  Projection - blame everyone else but themselves.

18 Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People  State facts in unemotional, fact-based sentences;  Make your initial statement then stop talking  Avoid arguing during the confrontation  Figure out the conflict resolution before the confrontation;  Focus on the real issue of the confrontation

19 Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People  Separate the issue from the person  Try not to take things personally  Ask questions rather than make statements  Record every communication in writing  Be assertive but not obnoxious

20 Final tips for dealing with difficult people  Look for lessons in every conflict  Become the observer - how do you behave  Don’t worry if some people don’t like you. Do you like everyone???

21 Final tips for dealing with difficult people  Work out the ‘worst case scenario’, can you live with it?  Avoid heated discussions  Work out what’s most important, to you and to them  Pour honey/diffuse the situation whenever you can

22 Final tips for dealing with difficult people  Don’t get “hooked”  Don’t let them get to you  Develop listening skills  Don’t blame others  Watch out for egos, your own included

23  Be aware of your body language, tone and listening techniques  Avoid using or reacting to “trigger” words  Don’t overuse the word ‘sorry’  Build rapport  Don’t over promise  Lower expectations Final tips for dealing with difficult people

24 Lester Freckleton Q & A’s Difficult Situations

25 Pushing Your Buttons  Why do people push your button?

26 Emotional Intelligence  For Emotional intelligence to be successful requires the effective awareness, control and management of one's own emotions, and those of other people. EQ embraces two aspects of intelligence:

27 Emotional Intelligence Understanding yourself, your goals, intentions, responses, behaviour and all. Understanding others, and their feelings.

28 Emotional Intelligence Goleman identified the five 'domains' of Emotional Intelligence as: 1. Knowing your emotions. 2. Managing your own emotions. 3. Motivating yourself. 4. Recognising and understanding other people's emotions. 5. Managing relationships.

29 Lester Freckleton Q & A’s Emotional Intelligence