1 Manejo de la Ira Estrategias para Controlar la Ira desde una Perspectiva Cristiana. Escrito por Julian Melgosa PhD, Profesor de Psicología, Walla Walla University, Washington, USA [Nota para el presentador: Los Seminarios de Manejo de la Ira están diseñados para administrarse durante varios días. Sin embargo, este contiene una muestra y ejercicios que pueden usarse durante dos horas si las transparencias (son 47) se pasan más o menos rápido. Puede cubrirse durante el viernes de noche o el sábado de tarde. He tratado de integrar la Biblia, el Espíritu de Profecía y pensamientos e ideas cristianos porque es importante entender que el poder de Dios es necesario para manejar la ira, una emoción que puede ser muy peligrosa y puede causar daños con efectos a largo plazo] Conferencia General de la Iglesia Adventista del Séptimo Día Ministerios de la Mujer enditnow Día de Énfasis

2 Introducción La mayoría de nosotros probablemente se ha enojado en alguna ocasión. Esperamos que ese momento haya pasado y nos hayamos disculpado. Sin embargo, el enojo fuera de control puede ser extremadamente dañino, aun letal. Es de importancia vital aprender lo más pronto posible cómo controlar esta emoción. Most of us have probably become angry on occasion. Let us hope the moment passed quickly, we apologized and moved on. However, anger that is not under control can be extremely harmful, even lethal. It is vital to learn early how to control this emotion. And while learning to control and channel our anger appropriately may not root out the underlying cause, it can equip us to prevent heated moments and violent outbursts towards others, especially our families. In this seminar we will learn some useful strategies to help us manage anger and become better spouses, parents, and friends.

3 IRA LA EMOCIÓN MAS DAÑINA PARA LAS RELACIONES“No te apresures a enojarte, porque la ira en el seno de los necios reposa” (Eclesiastés 7: 9) “Si eres paciente en un momento de ira, escaparás de cien días de tristeza” (Proverbio chino) This advice in Ecclesiastes, as in many other Bible verses, can help prevent major problems. The inspired author calls those who display anger fools because a wise person will avoid angry outbursts. Anger is hurtful, not only for the person who is attacked but also for the one displaying anger and those witnessing the episode. The Chinese proverb reminds us how lasting the consequences of one brief moment of anger may be.

4 ¿QUE ES LA IRA? La ira es una emoción (un fuerte sentimiento). No necesariamente lleva a la agresión, pero es muy probable que ocurra la agresión cuando uno está enojado. Es aceptable cierto tipo de ira. “Si os enojáis, no pequéis” (Efe. 4: 26). Sin embargo, nunca puede defenderse la ira cuando causa daño, a nosotros mismos o a otros It is important to recognize that anger itself is just an emotion. It is like temptation. (For example, a lustful thought may go through the mind, but one may quickly dispel it by the grace of God). Temptation is not sin. However, when one allows those thoughts to take over and fill one’s mind, that is sin. The same thing is true of anger. Anger is an emotion that needs to be channeled, but if it causes harm—to others or to oneself—it damages mental health and is a sin.

5 ¿COMO FUNCIONA? La ira, como cualquier emoción, causa cambios fisiológicos en el ritmo cardiaco, la presión sanguínea y en los niveles de adrenalina y noradrenalina. Produce una gran agitación interna. La ira puede ser una reacción contra: Otra persona (cónyuge, jefe, niño, vecino) Así mismo (por olvidarse de algo, cometer un error) Circunstancia (clima, mal flujo del tránsito, una pérdida) Recuerdos (traumas y momentos embarazosos del pasado) Anger is one of the most powerful emotions and will affect several physiological systems. This means that it can affect our physical health if anger is experienced consistently or extremely. Just as we do not wish to eat or drink anything that will ruin our health, in the same way we should avoid the physical harm of anger. Furthermore, anger poses risks to our mental health: we lose friends; relationships suffer; and our thinking and reasoning deteriorate.

6 LA IRA SE REVELA EN TRES NIVELES: FISIOLÓGICO, COGNITIVO, Y CONDUCTUALEL FISIOLÓGICO: Las respuestas más importantes son ritmo cardiaco acelerado, aumento de la presión sanguínea, endurecimiento muscular, aceleración de ritmo respiratorio, sudor, palidez o enrojecimiento del rostro y manos frías. Physiological. These responses are sent by the limbic system (the center of our emotions) that translate into faster heart rate, raised blood pressure, muscle tightening, increase in breathing rate, sweating, pale or flushed face, and cold hands. Physiological responses may vary from person to person and will also depend on the intensity of anger. We need to differentiate FEELING from EMOTION. A feeling is a thought that represents an attitude, something we like or dislike, feel comfortable or uncomfortable with, etc. Feelings do not arouse any physiological response. However, a feeling may often become an emotion; at that point it will activate a series of physiological responses in various body systems: the respiratory, circulatory, muscle-skeletal, endocrine, and others.

7 LA IRA SE REVELA—NIVEL 2 EL COGNITIVO: Cuando estamos enojados, nuestro pensamiento se vuelve irracional y distorsionado, negativo y enfocado en lo que nos hace sentirnos enojados. Cognitive. The thinking process is affected by anger. When one is angry, thinking becomes irrational and distorted. It tends to be negative and to focus on what is making one angry. For example, what someone said, the behavior of others, something that seems unfair or undeserved. Anger affects our cognition. We might lose the ability to weigh the consequences of our anger because we are carried away by the strength of the emotion.

8 LA IRA SE REVELA—NIVEL 3 COMPORTAMIENTO. La ira puede revelarse de varias maneras. Podemos enrojecer y temblar, levantar la voz, dar un portazo, o decir cosas ofensivas e hirientes. En su manifestación más extrema, la persona enojada se vuelve violenta, le grita a los demás, patea objetos o mascotas y golpea personas —con los puños o cualquier objeto que tenga a la mano. Perhaps anger is most often revealed in our speech. When angry we may say things we do not mean and hurt others deeply. Furthermore, there is a strong possibility that we do not weigh what we say and how we say it in moments of anger. If people’s angry outbursts were recorded on camera, they might be surprised! Anger that is manifest in overt behavior is perhaps the most dangerous level. It may include: becoming flushed and shaky, raising one’s voice, slamming doors, or saying nasty, hurtful things. In the most extreme manifestation, the angry person becomes violent, screaming at others, kicking objects or pets, and hitting people—with fists or any handy weapon. Sometimes these behaviors are against the law and can result in criminal penalties.

9 EL IMPACTO NEGATIVO DE LA IRA EN LA SALUD FÍSICASALUD FÍSICA: Cuando la ira es frecuente o intensa, puede fácilmente dañar tu salud física. La ira continua te puede hacer más susceptible a enfermedad del corazón, alta presión arterial, diabetes, problemas de colesterol, pérdida de defensas físicas y problemas del sueño. The list of health problems given on the slide is sufficient to show the effects of the physiological commotion that our organic systems experience. Some people in SDA communities are quite concerned about their diet because being careful with our diet is important to our health. However, in our zeal for diet and food, we may forget the damage to our bodies when we become angry.

10 EL IMPACTO NEGATOVO DE LA IRA EN LA SALUD MENTALSALUD MENTAL: Cuando la ira es frecuente o intensa, puede dañar tu salud mental. La ira coloca gran estrés sobre el organismo y puede causar problemas de concentración y razonamiento, así como inhabilidad para gozar de la vida. La ira puede afectar también el estado de ánimo, lo cual puede llevar a la depresión y otros desórdenes mentales. Anger also has adverse effects on our mental health. For example, a person who experiences angry outbursts with relative frequency will experience low levels of well-being and little satisfaction with life. As a result the person is unhappy and often isolated, which opens the door to mental disorders.

11 EL IMPACTO NEGATIVO DE LA IRA EN LAS RELACIONESRELACIONES: Cuando la ira es frecuente o intensa, dañará inevitablemente las relaciones. Se deteriorarán las conexiones con la familia, amigos, vecinos y conocidos. If one displays chronic anger, family relationships will deteriorate. Angry outbursts or an atmosphere of anger tends to leave lasting scars on loved ones. They will feel less and less comfortable around you and will lose their trust in you. Your anger is especially harmful to your children for two reasons: They will tend to copy and reproduce the angry behavior Often they will be scarred emotionally, and their personalities may not develop properly. Friends and others who feel the heat of your anger are likely to drift away, and you will be lonely.

12 EL IMPACTO NEGATIVO DE LA IRA EN EL LUGAR DE TRABAJOEN EL LUGAR DE TRABAJO: Cuando la ira es frecuente e intensa, es muy posible que afecte tu empleo. Puede llevar a dificultades para trabajar en equipo, daña tu reputación y puede concluir con el despido o desempleo. Your employment: Displaying anger in the workplace can easily make it difficult to work in teams; it will lead to lack of respect for you and what you say, damage your reputation, and often lead to loss of employment.

13 IRA Y EL CEREBRO # 1 El cerebro tiene tres capas básicas, desde el nivel más bajo, hasta el nivel más alto: El bulbo raquídeo. Controla nuestras funciones fisiológicas. El sistema límbico. Controla nuestras emociones. La isocórtex. Gobierna las funciones intelectuales más elevadas. The brain is like a three-scoop ice cream cone, from the lowest to the upper levels: The brain stem. It controls and monitors our physiological functions: breathing, heart rate, movement, etc. We are not even aware of what it is doing. It works automatically and independently of our will and desire. The limbic system. It controls and monitors our emotions. This is the site of the fight-or-flight response and the site of emotions, including anger. The neocortex. It takes care of solving problems, making decisions, planning events, anticipating consequences. This area, especially the prefrontal cortex, ‘tames’ the impulses and emotions of the limbic system.

14 IRA Y EL CEREBRO # 2 LA CORTEZA PREFRONTAL es capaz de manejar nuestras emociones e impulsos. Es capaz de controlar las manifestaciones externas de ira. En resumen, aquí es donde se libra la batalla por el alma. La elección entre el bien y el mal ocurre ahí. 4. The prefrontal cortex is the site of advanced thinking, unique to human beings, and capable of submitting emotions, impulses, and tendencies to principles and ideals. 5. The prefrontal cortex can control anger and other negative emotions originating in the limbic system, as well as allow and promote positive emotions (love, compassion, gratitude…) that also come from the limbic system. Unlike the limbic system that sends its signals independently and autonomously, we do have control, through our decisions and choices, over the prefrontal cortex. In sum, the battle for the soul is fought there. The choice between good and evil happens there.

15 CONTROL DE LA IRA El papel a desempeñar de la corteza prefrontal significa buenas nuevas: Podemos controlar nuestro mal genio. Pero, ¿qué sucede cuando alguien pareciera incapaz de controlar su temperamento? La persona necesita estar dispuesta a aprender estrategias para controlar su ira. La persona recibirá ayuda al someterse al poder del Espíritu Santo. The role of the prefrontal cortex is good news. Our will, our choice, our principles and beliefs can overcome anger. We can control our temper. The bad news is that some people—perhaps due to inherited tendencies or observed patterns—have serious difficulty managing their anger. They will need additional help. It is fundamental that they accept responsibility. It is vital to admit that they have a problem that can be helped—sometimes via self-help strategies like the ones to be presented in this seminar. At other times, they must be willing to go to counselling, if available. Above all, the person must seek the aid of the Holy Spirit in the battle to control his or her anger.

16 CONTROL DE LA IRA Hay dos componentes necesarios en el manejo de la ira: La intervención de Dios. “Sin mí, nada podéis hacer” (Juan 15: 5). Nuestros sinceros esfuerzos. “Dejad también vosotros … ira“ (Col. 3:8). Nuestro esfuerzo individual significa aceptar nuestra responsabilidad personal y estar dispuestos a hacer algo acerca de nuestra ira. Podemos aprender técnicas y estrategias prácticas que nos pueden ayudar a controlar nuestro enojo. There are two necessary components of anger management: God’s intervention. We need God’s help. “Without Me you can do nothing” (John 15: 5). This is especially true with addictions (both chemical and non-chemical) or anger. God’s help is available: “For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” (Phil. 2: 13). Our individual effort. We must do our part. We cannot expect God to do that which we can do for ourselves. God asks us to control our anger: “Be angry and sin not” (Eph. 4:26). “You must also rid yourselves of… anger” (Col. 3:8). Our own part involves: Recognizing that we have a problem and that the blame cannot be placed on anyone else. Without this step, it is impossible to be helped. Learning and practicing simple, helpful techniques that one can incorporate into daily living to create good habits. [Several strategies will be presented in this seminar.]

17 “Suplicad a vuestro Padre celestial que os guarde de ceder a la tentación de hablar el uno al otro de una manera dura y voluntariosa. Cada uno de vosotros tiene un carácter imperfecto. Por el hecho de que no os mantuvisteis bajo la dirección de Dios, la conducta del uno hacia el otro resultó imprudente. “Os ruego que os pongáis bajo la dirección de Dios. Cuando estéis tentados a hablar con provocación, no digáis una sola palabra. Seréis tentados al respecto porque nunca habéis vencido este rasgo censurable del carácter. Pero todo mal hábito debe ser vencido. Entregaos completamente a Dios. Caed sobre la Roca, Cristo Jesús, y sed quebrantados. Como esposos, disciplinaos a vosotros mismos. Acudid a Cristo en busca de ayuda. Él os concederá gustosamente su simpatía divina, su libre gracia. (El hogar adventista, pp. 311, 312) This passage suggests a few simple and powerful principles: Be careful with words, never speaking harshly. Any temptation to speak in provocation should be overcome simply by BEING QUIET. Although it is difficult to change these traits, there is hope! Christ will supply what we cannot provide!

18 IRA EN NUESTRAS RELACIONESConcepto antiguo: Debemos dejar que salga la ira, de otra manera podemos sufrir de hipertensión. Concepto actual: Cuando dejamos escapar la ira, corremos el riesgo de hipertensión, y nuestra relación puede sufrir permanentemente. For many years in the past, experts were saying that it was very dangerous not to let out anger because of the accumulation of psychological tension as well as the risk of hypertension. Therefore, anger must be let out. Today, it is known that the psychological tension will be much greater as a result of the serious damage to relationships when anger is displayed. In addition, the physical harm from displays of anger is truly dangerous to our health.

19 EL CIRCULO DE LA IRA Situación:Otro conductor te cierra el paso en medio del tránsito Pensamiento: ¡Idiota! Comportamiento: Gritar, agresión—físical o verbal. Emociones: Ira, furia, y coraje This illustration shows a typical example of how anger may build in a driver in city traffic. The emotion of anger builds quickly and takes over the person, who then displays undesirable behaviors. [The example can be adapted to other situations in places where people rarely drive.] Síntomas: Ritmo cardiaco acelerado, tensión muscular, temblor, respitación rápida

20 IRA EN NUESTRAS RELACIONESLa gráfica muestra: Situación  Pensamientos  Emociones  Síntomas  Comportamiento. La mayoría de las técnicas de manejo de la ira enfoca la atención en las “Situaciones” o en los “Pensamientos” a fin de prevenir las últimas y más peligrosas partes de la cadena —“Síntomas” y “Comportamiento”. Understanding this sequence of “Situation  Thoughts  Emotions  Symptoms  Behavior” can be very helpful to prevent verbal and physical violence. Sometimes the person prone to anger (or someone close) can detect early signs of anger (such as pounding heart, shakiness, etc.), and that is the time to say to oneself, “NO! Stop it!” Or to breathe very deeply and go somewhere else before the behavior becomes a problem. For a Christian, it is helpful to have a very brief prayer or Bible phrase to repeat to calm one’s anger. For example: “Help me, LORD.” “Jesus, be near me.” “I can do all things in Christ.” “The LORD is my shepherd.”

21 Técnicas para Manejar la Ira

22 SEÑALES DE ALERTA EN RELACIÓN A LA IRARECONOCE LAS SEÑALES DE TU IRA Sudor Respiración rápida Estómago tenso Levantamiento de la voz Mirar fijamente al oponente Sangre subida al rosto u ojos Manos temblorosas Puños cerrados Rostro enojado Silencio total Agresión Culpar o insultar al oponente Everyone has different signs that indicate growing anger. Each one of us must recognize ours. Knowing the signs will help us to recognize the building emotion that precedes an angry outburst and thus avoid that behavior. It is also good to remember that these signs can escalate and become so pronounced that they will affect our physical health.

23 IDENTIFICANDO LOS DETONANTES¿Cuáles son las personas, lugares o situaciones que disparan tus sentimientos de irritabilidad o enojo? Cierta hora del día Tránsito Estar hambriento o cansado Tener calor o frío Otros ______________ [Note to presenter: This can be conducted as a whole group activity, allowing participants to share their own triggers openly. It can also be done in small groups, letting people create their list. It is not necessary to share with a large group, but this could be done, depending on the atmosphere of the activity.]

24 IDENTIFICA LOS PENSAMIENTOS¿Cuáles son los pensamientos que te causan sentimientos de ira? Por ejemplo: Cuando pienso en… --Mis oportunidades desperdiciadas en el pasado. --La naturaleza poco fiable. --La forma como mi viejo amigo me ha lastimado. [Note to presenter: This can be conducted as a whole group activity, allowing participants to share their own triggers openly. It can also be done in small groups, letting people create their list. It is not necessary to share with a large group, but it could be done, depending on the atmosphere at the seminar.]

25 IDENTIFICA LOS PENSAMIENTOSGeneralmente, las siguientes son formas peligrosas de pensar que pueden conducir a la manifestación de la ira: Generalizar. Obsesiones. Leer la mente de alguien y saltar a conclusiones. Counselors and clinical psychologists often find that people with mental health issues tend to peculiar ways of thinking. Typical examples are: Overgeneralizing: For example, “You ALWAYS interrupt me.” “You NEVER consider my needs.” “EVERYONE disrespects me.” Obsessions: “I must finish the entire ‘to do’ list today; otherwise I am a failure.”   Mind-reading and jumping to conclusions: “My children are being disobedient because they want to hurt me.” “My boss is asking me to work on this project to upset me.” [Note to presenter: Create similar examples suited to the audience.]

26 IDENTIFICANDO LOS PENSAMIENTOSGeneralmente, las siguientes son formas peligrosas de pensar que pueden conducir a la manifestación de la ira: Acumular “basura” o “paja”. Culpar. Collecting “straws.” When you pile up in your mind a series of small irritations, constantly reviewing them and adding more until you reach the “final straw” and explode. Blaming. When you blame somebody else for everything that happens instead of taking personal responsibility for your own life.

27 SEÑALES, DETONANTES Y PENSAMIENTOS…Es muy importante identificar señales, detonantes y pensamientos de ira; de otra manera estos van a tomar las riendas y seremos arrastrados por ellos. Sin embargo, no es suficiente con identificarlos; necesitamos aprender a hacer algo respecto a ellos. It is very important to identify anger’s signs, triggers and thoughts; otherwise, they will take the lead and we will be driven by them. However, identifying them is insufficient; we need to learn to do something about them.

28 QUÉ HACER? El evitar los detonantes es ideal, pero muchos detonantes no pueden evitarse, tales como el jefe, el trabajo, tránsito, cónyuge, hijos, etc. Las siguientes son dos útiles estrategias: ¡Respirar profundo! ¡Contar! Avoiding triggers is ideal, but many triggers cannot be avoided, such as boss, work, traffic, spouse, children, etc. Here are two good strategies: Breathe! Deep breathing is the most efficient relaxation technique. Count! When you feel your anger escalating, count s-l-o-w-l-y to 10, or to 100, or backwards. Focus on the numbers, apart from the anger. Take a deep breath at the same time. This can abort the build-up.

29 Habla contigo mismo Háblale al Señor MÁS ESTRATEGIASTalk to yourself. This technique is widely used in clinical psychology. It is called ‘self-instruction.’ For example (in these examples, John is speaking to himself.): “John, you care about people; you will not hurt others.” “John, you can handle this tension.” “John, you will not blow up.” “John, you can calm down. John, breathe deeply.” Talk to the Lord. The believer always has the All-powerful Creator to depend upon. A brief prayer is extremely powerful. For example: “Lord, I am in your hands.” “Lord, you are my shepherd. Guide me. Help me.” “I can do all things in Christ.” “Dwell in me now, Lord.”

30 MÁS ESTRATEGIAS Crea una figura mental de las consecuencias.Crea una imagen mental o espiritual. These strategies can be very powerful if one has prepared ahead of time, rehearsing them and elaborating on them to have ready in moments of anger. Create a mental picture of the consequences: Thinking of the consequences of your display of anger can stop the process. Have it ready in your mind to retrieve. For example, imagine one of these scenarios: (a) you have lost your job because of losing your temper, or (b) your spouse/children are hurting/traumatized because of your angry outbursts and door slamming. Create a mental picture of spiritual imagery: Select a Bible story/character and visualize the scene. Have your mental picture ready to use when anger builds. For example, visualize Simon Peter pulling his sword and cutting off the Chief Priest’s servant’s right ear. Then hear Jesus saying, “Peter, put back your sword.” 

31 MÁS ESTRATEGIAS “Detener los pensamientos”. Los pensamientos que llevan a la ira vienen en cadena, tan pronto como aparezca un primer eslabón: Di: “ALTO!” Elimina intencionalmente la idea de tu mente. Distrae tu mente. “Thought Stopping” is one of the techniques valued most by clinicians using cognitive behavioral approaches to help people with obsessions, compulsions, addictions, phobias, etc. This strategy is based on the fact that thoughts lead to anger. The process in like a chain made up of several links. As soon as an early link in the chain appears, try one of these strategies: Say “STOP!” Say this to yourself firmly, even aloud if circumstances permit, in order to dispel the thought immediately Drop the idea from your mind. Dispel the thought completely. This is best achieved by having other ideas to replace the undesirable thought. Distract Yourself. How? Take a walk, run an errand, do some cleaning, or think of a funny event that made you laugh.

32 Dice el apóstol Pablo: “No se ponga el sol mientras estáis enojados”EL MEJOR MOMENTO Dice el apóstol Pablo: “No se ponga el sol mientras estáis enojados” (Efesios 4:26).

33 EL MEJOR MOMENTO ¿Cuál es el mejor momento para suavizar las cosas después de una explosión de ira? El texto “No se ponga el sol mientras estáis enojados” no necesita tomarse literalmente Recuerda las consideraciones siguientes: “Enfriarse” o tranquilizarse después de una explosión de ira. Tal vez necesites varias horas para tranquilizarte. Encuentra el tiempo y el lugar para arreglar las cosas. The text “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath” need not always be taken literally. This is excellent as a principle, for you do not want to leave hard feelings unresolved for too long. So, the sooner you seek reconciliation, the better. However, bear these considerations in mind: Generally it is not advisable to try clear things up while anger is still simmering. Someone still fuming after a fight is not ready to communicate calmly. In such a case, it is better to let things cool down normally; a few hours of waiting may be necessary. It is not only a matter of waiting, but of finding an optimal moment and location to smooth feelings—perhaps outside the home, in a neutral setting, when no one is in a rush.

34 MÁS ESTRATEGIAS Enfoca tu atención en lo positivo. El fortalecimiento de las relaciones interpersonales hacen menos probables las situaciones de enojo e ira. Expresa gratitud. Las investigaciones recientes muestran que el expresar la gratitud previene la ira y promueve el bienestar en quienes comunican su gratitud. Being optimistic is a matter of habit. Some people tend to see the glass as half empty, while others tend to see it as half full. In relationships, it is a healthy thing to observe one’s opponent and focus on their good qualities, abilities, and good intentions, etc. Expressing gratitude has also been found to be effective in nourishing relationships. Even non-faith counselors are teaching gratitude protocols to clients. These strategies help people attain feelings of wellbeing and improve their interpersonal relationships.

35 EJERCICIO: Las cualidades de mi cónyuge o amigoCualidades que me atraen a él o a ella: ________________________ _________________________ Recuerdos favoritos con él o ella: Lo(a) valoro porque: [Note to presenter: This can be done individually, in couples, in families, or in groups. If there is time, this can be completed during the seminar; if not, the form can be taken as a handout to be completed at home. Once participants complete their list, they can share with the others.]

36 EJERCICIO: UNA CARTA DE GRATITUDElige a una persona a la que le estás agradecida por haberte ayudado o por haber hecho algo especial por ti. Redacta una detallada carta de aprecio. Sé especifico, mencionando aquellas cosas por las que estas agradecido. Explica en qué forma te ha ayudado el redactar esta carta. [Note to presenter: This activity is for seminar attendees to do after the seminar. This should be a real exercise, choosing a real person and expressing one’s gratitude in writing. As an alternative, the exercise can be done by visiting the person and expressing your appreciation face to face, or perhaps by phone.

37 Cómo enfrentar la ira (Resumen)ESTRATEGIAS Detección Temprana Descubrir las señales, detonadores y circunstancias para tranquilizarte a tiempo. Darse un Tiempo Poner a un lado la situación. :(“Volveré en un momento”). La actividad física vigorosa puede hacer maravillas. Respiración Respirar lenta y profundamente )por lo menos 4 segundos cada respiración). Enfocar la atención en lo positivo Expresar cualidades positivas y gratitud hacia otros. Pensar en las consecuencias Qué pasaría si exploto ahora? Aferrarse del Señor Necesitamos a Jesús para prevenir la ira y para canalizar positivamente esos sentimientos. [Note to presenter: This chart presents a summary of the practical anger management strategies that have been shared during the seminar. If there is no time, this can be omitted.]

38 NOTA SOBRE ESTRATEGIAS SICOLÓGICASLas técnicas y estrategias son útiles, pero son insuficientes. El verdadero cambio viene maravillosamente de arriba: “…transformaos mediante la renovación de vuestra mente”. (Rom. 12: 2). La gente con problemas de ira requiere la acción del Espíritu Santo a través de la oración, la meditación en las Escrituras, las actividades espirituales, frecuentes momentos de paz y tranquilidad y cuando sea posible consejo profesional. It is important to remember that techniques and strategies provide support to manage harmful behaviors, such as getting angry and possibly hurting oneself or others. However, our most important need is to surrender to the Holy Spirit, to be transformed, to behave in a caring and Christlike manner. That is the true solution to anger.

39 CASOS Discusión en grupos de soluciones racionales, pacíficas y centradas en Cristo, a las situaciones siguientes: [Note to presenters: The following cases may be modified to suit the culture. The purpose of these cases is to help those attending apply what they have learned in the seminar. They can be discussed in small groups, in pairs, or with the whole group.]

40 CASO 1 Estoy trabajando arduamente para terminar todas las tareas que mi jefe me ha pedido. Estoy en constante actividad. Aun así, mi jefe ha regresado tres veces en 10 minutos para preguntarme cuándo voy a acabar.

41 CASO 2 Mi hijo me ha prometido que va a sacar a caminar al perro. El perro realmente necesita ir, pero mi hijo continúa jugando juegos electrónicos, ignorando mi petición.

42 CASO 3 Esta mañana mi esposo me prometió que iba a regresar a tiempo a la casa para cenar juntos esta noche. Me acaba de llamar para decirme que no va a poder llegar. Ya lo ha prometido y cancelado dos veces esta semana.

43 CASO 4 En nuestra casa, mi esposa está a cargo del lavado y planchado de la ropa. Hace unos días le dije que necesitaba una camisa limpia y planchada para una importante reunión hoy. Al vestirme esta mañana, no tenía camisa planchada.

44 CASO 5 El domingo pasado, mi suegra invitó a la familia a cenar. Preparó un platillo al que soy alérgica, y creo que lo sabía.

45 LA REGLA DE ORO, UN ANTÍDOTO PARA LA IRA"Así, todo lo que queráis que los hombres os hagan, hacedlo también vosotros por ellos. Esta es la Ley y los Profetas” (Mateo 7:12). Applying this principle to every aspect of our relationships with others would solve many problems and would promote happiness. The story is told of a rice farmer who was tending his fields on the mountainside overlooking his village and the beach. His position and perspective allowed him a perfect view of the village, the beach, and the vast ocean. Suddenly, on the horizon he saw the ocean forming huge waves. A tsunami! Everyone in the village would perish unless warned. Quickly deciding how to attract their attention, he set his field on fire. The villagers, seeing the fire, ran up the mountain to help put out the fire. Because they climbed, they were safe from the ravaging tsunami. Moments later, gigantic waves roared over the beach and the homes. But the lives of those rushing to put out the fire were saved. The rice farmer did not care about losing his crop. The villagers did not stay comfortably at home. Both sides sacrificed for each other and saved their lives. No doubt we each have moments of anger. Let us learn and practice strategies for conquering anger, so that, with God’s help, we can have better physical health and warm, healthy relationships with family and friends. Let us walk with our Lord, the one who is our example and who gives us the strength to change.

46 PARA SABER MAS ACERCA DEL MANEJO DE LA IRABaruch, Rhoda (2008). Creative Anger: Putting that Powerful Emotion to Good Use. Praeger Publishers. Dunne, Gerry (2003). Anger and Conflict Management: Personal Handbook. Personhood Press. McKay, Matthew (2000). The Anger Control Workbook. New Harbinger Publications, Inc. McKay, Matthew (2003). When Anger Hurts. New Harbinger Publications, Inc. Oliver, Gary (1992). When Anger Hits Home: Taking Care of Your Anger Without Taking it Out on Your Family. Moody Press. Shrand, Joseph (2013). Outsmarting Anger. John Wiley & Sons.