1 Mike and Barb Stelzer Contemporary Christian MinistriesHealing Relationships June 2011 Lamoni, Iowa Mike and Barb Stelzer Contemporary Christian Ministries

2 A Personal Relationship With God, Jesus Christ, And The Holy Spirit?Relationships God Created Us For A Relationship With Him. God, Jesus Christ, And The Holy Spirit Want To Have A Relationship With Each Of Us. God Gave Us The Manual For Our Relationships: Husband & Wife Children & Parents Work & Social What Do You Want In A Relationship?

3 A Personal Relationship With God, Jesus Christ, and The Holy SpiritRequires Being In Their Presence Learning Who God, Jesus Christ And The Holy Spirit Is (Knowledge) Choosing To Allow Them Into Your Life (Acceptance) Following The Blueprint/Manual/Road Map God Has Provided (Obedience) Communications Daily Communications (Prayer) Two Way Conversation (Speaking And Listening)

4 How Is Your Relationship With: Excellent Good Fair Distant PoorGod, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit Excellent Good Fair Distant Poor

5 How Is Your Relationship With:Husband, Wife, Children, Parents, Friends, Employer, Teachers, Family Excellent Good Fair Distant Poor

6 What God Wants For You Close Personal Relationship And A Friend You Can Always Count On. God’s Protection. Provide The Answers To Your Problems. Direction, Insight, Visions, And Dreams. Revelations. Wisdom. Abundant Life. Eternal Life …….

7 Your View Of RelationshipsWhat Do I Believe What Should I Do Should I Seek More Knowledge And Understanding? Do I Have An Open Mind? What Am I Afraid Of? Do I Have A Problem? Do I Want To Be In A Relationship? What Does It Require Of Me? ??? ???

8 I’m Fine, I’m Ok, Really I amEmotional Aspect Inside Outside Shame Guilt Fear Anger Sexually Abused Vows Lust Addiction Rebellion I’m Fine, I’m Ok, Really I am

9 Renewing Your Mind And Creating The Right RelationshipRomans 12:1-2 New Thinking New Attitude New Path New Approach

10 What Makes A Good Relationship?Love Honor Respect Obedience Communications Sharing Honesty Sacrifice Other Things ………….. ? ? ?

11 What Makes A Bad RelationshipSin External Worldly Influences Self Centeredness Physical Abuse Emotional Abuse Verbal Abuse Control Manipulation Deception Lying Other Things ………………… ? ? ?

12 Relationships In The HomeMan and Woman (All Of Eph. 5 And 6) Model Wife And Mother (Prov. 31:10-31) Christian Responsibilities (Roman 8, 12: 1-21, 13) Subject To Authority (Eph. 4:17-32) Unequally Yoked With Unbelievers (II Cor. 6:14, 7:1) (I John 2:15-17)

13 Marriage and Divorce Marriage Divorce Separation Remarriage ResolutionReconciliation Death Of A Spouse

14 Other Relationships Employer Peers Subordinates Family Members(Col. 3:22-25) (Col. 4:1) (Prov. 3:1-12) (Psalms 15)

15 Where Are The Boundaries In RelationshipsBetween A Man And A Woman Friends And Family Members Boy Friend And Girl Friend Employer And Employees Control Situations Abuse Situations

16 Differences Between Men And WomenCognitive Thinking Emotional Response Left Brain / Right Brain Four Basic Needs: Security Meaningful Communication Romantic Emotional Experiences Physical Touch ???

17 Five Foundations For A Marriage Relationship (A Blueprint For Getting Started)Open Communications Basic Spiritual Unity “Blend-Able” Family Backgrounds Sexual Compatibility Financial Responsibility

18 Relationship Pointers For CouplesPray Together Study Scriptures Together Focus On Strengths, Rather Than Weaknesses Learn To Listen Mean What You Say And Say What You Mean Crisis Is Not Always Bad Love Is A Choice And Decisions Are Required Everyday Sarcasm Kills A Relationship Never Talk Negatively About One Another Nagging Is Prideful Sacrifice

19 Seven Steps To Improving Your Communication SkillsMake A Decision To Improve Communications. Establish A Quality Time to Share And Communicate With Your Mate And Family. Take An Interest In What The Other Person Is Doing. Be Willing To Admit That You Have Been Wrong. Be Willing To Accept Constructive Criticism. Avoid Cutting And Belittling Remarks. Be Sure Outside Obligations Aren’t Robbing You Of Time With Your Mate And Family.

20 Communications Communications Is The Number One Problem In Marriage. (Separation/Divorce) Pride and Selfishness Are The Two Root Causes Of Communication Problems. (Eph. 4:29) Get Your Communications Right With God And You Can Have The Right Communications With People Around You. Communications Is A Process: Verbal Non-verbal Senders And Receivers/Speaking And Listening Messages And Interpretation Of Messages

21 Children and Parents: Parenting Styles (Prov. 22:6)Dominating Parents Neglectful Parents Permissive Parents Balanced Or Scriptural Parents

22 The Ten Laws Of ParentingThou Shalt Start With Thyself. Thou Shalt Be More Concerned About Relationships Than Rules. Thou Shalt Impart The Faith. Thou Shalt Learn to Listen. Thou Shalt Spend Time With Thy Children. Thou Shalt Acknowledge Thy Faults As A Parent. Thou Shalt Keep A Sense Of Humor. Thou Shalt Treat Thy Children Equally. Thou Shalt Use Discipline. Thou Shalt Know When To Let Go.

23 Relationships and FinanceWhat You Have Available To You. What You Don’t Have and Why. What You Could Have. What To Do To Get What You Need. Accountability. Obedience. Stewardship.

24 Walking In The Flesh Or Walking In The Spirit (Rom. 8:7-8)(Gal. 5:12-21), (Rom. 8:13), (Rom.8:13), (Rom. 13:13-14), (Gal. 5:16, 24). Key To Victory Over The Flesh Is To Walk In The Spirit. (Rom. 8:5) Putting On The Armor Of God (Eph. 6:10-12) Our Flesh Is Literally An Enemy Of God. Our Flesh Is Not Subject To God. Our Flesh Can’t And Won’t Be Subject To God. No Matter How Hard We Try To Convert Or Improve Our Flesh It Just Won’t Change. Whenever We Give Into The Desires Of Our Flesh It Is Obvious To Everyone Near Us.

25 Sexuality Immorality

26 What The Scriptures Say About Sexual ImmoralityGen. 19:1-11, Lev. 18:22, 20:13 Deut. 23:17 Judges 19:22-25 Rom. 1:26, 27 I Cor. 6:9, 10 I Tim. 1:9,10 Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged All Have Sinned And Fallen Short God Made Provision For All Of Us To Repent, Gain Forgiveness, And Be Reinstated By His Grace and Mercy

27 Scriptures For Victory Over Sexual ImmoralityMorning: (I Cor. 7:2-5), (I John 2:15-17), (James 4:4-5) Afternoon: (I Thes. 4:3-8), (Rom. 8:5-8), (Gal. 5:16, 22-24) Evening: (I Cor. 6:13, 18-20), (James 4:6-8), (Eph. 6:10-12)

28 Steps To Overcoming Sexual ImmoralityAccept Jesus as Savior and Lord. Be Continually Controlled By The Holy Spirit. Walk In The Spirit. Face Sexual Immorality As Sin And Confess It. Face And Confess Your Basic Anger And Rebellion Problem. Love And Accept Yourself. Learn To Control Your Mind. Sincerely Thank God For Your Sexuality. Make Absolutely No Exceptions. Avoid Sexually Immoral Hangouts and Tempting Situations. Become Active In A Bible Teaching Church. Become Active In A Weekly Bible Study. Vigorously Seek Christian Companionship. Find One Or More Close Friends To Hold You Accountable. Believe God for An Unlimited Future. Present Your Bodies Formally To God. Become A People Helper.

29 What The Scriptures Say About Sexual RelationshipsMarried Single Different Life Styles Perverted Sexual Acts Lust Self Gratification Sexual Temptations

30 Dealing With TemptationSeven Stages Of Every Temptation: (James 1:13-17) Drawn Away………………..Looked By His Own Desire ………...Lust And Enticed………………...Lured Desire Conceived…………..Conception Gives Birth To Sin…………Birth Sin, Full Grown…………….Fighting Brings Forth Death………...Sin

31 Three Most Difficult Temptations Men And Women Face Today???________________________________

32 Lust And The Temptation To SinLies We Tell Ourselves To Give Us Permission To Sin. Drawn Away By Our Own Desires: (I Cor.10:6) - Lust After Evil (Matt. 5:28) – Looking At A Woman (James 4:12) (Rom. 13:14) (Eph. 4;22) (I Tim. 6:9) (II Tim. 2: 22) (I Pet. 2:11) Becoming A Slave To Lust. Enticing Is A Part Of Life, But Acting On Temptation Is The Sin.

33 God’s View Of Sexual Immorality: (I Cor. 6:9,11,13,18)Sex Before Marriage. Sex With Anyone Or Anything Except Your Spouse (Another Man Or Woman, A Child, or Animals). Having Lustful Thoughts. Seeking Anything For Sexual Arousal. Looking On Nakedness For Pleasure.

34 God’s Provision For Sexual Temptation In A Marriage (I Cor. 7:2-5)Godly Marriage. Marriage Partners Are To Fulfill Sexual Needs Of Their Mate. Body of Your Spouse Is Under Authority For Your Sexual Fulfillment. Request For Sex Is Not To Be Denied Unless Both Agree And For A Limited Time Period. Postponement Of Sex Weakens Self-control And Unnecessarily Permits Satan To Sexually Tempt.

35 Handling Your Sex Drive (I Thes. 4:3-7 and I Cor. 6:13, 19-20)Be Honest And Transparent With Your Spouse. Break The Temptation Patterns And Habits. Other Suggestions From The Group ????

36 Devastating Epidemic With Men And WomenPornography Video Rentals Internet Sex Cable/TV Sex 900 Sex Calls Masturbation Prostitution