1 Understanding and Coping with Anxiety: Some Lessons From David…Dr. Paula Cerveny, Registered Psychologist Norfolk Psychological Services May Grace Christian Fellowship
2 Nervous Afraid Worried Anxious Apprehensive Freaking out Edgy TenseLosing my mind
3 Warning Signs Marked change in personalityDecline in school/work performance Avoiding school/work Avoiding social activities/events Overwhelmed with daily activities Excessive/irrational fears or worries Abuse of alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs Significant changes in eating or sleeping patterns Crying, tantrums, freezing, clinging Low morale, low self-esteem
4 Warning Signs Lack of cooperation/frequent conflicts with othersUnexplained aches and pains Problems concentrating, making decisions, or remembering things Missed deadlines, poor exam grades Losing interest or involvement in academics Sudden or frequent panic attacks Excessive shyness Difficulties completing work
5 Facts About Anxiety Very common among children, teens, & adults.But, it can be hard for parents and teachers to notice how anxious a child/teen might be. Many youth never receive the help they really need. Untreated anxiety can lead to other problems later in life.
7 Facts About Anxiety Anxiety is normal. Anxiety is not dangerous. Anxiety is adaptive. Anxiety becomes a problem when our body reacts in the absence of real danger.
8 Anxiety Becomes a Problem When…Someone is experiencing considerable distress or interference in everyday life. The anxiety/worries interfere with normal activities and with the enjoyment of life
9 Thoughts Feelings Behaviours
10 Thoughts Feelings Behaviours
11 David and Goliath 8 Goliath stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel, “Why do you come out and line up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and are you not the servants of Saul? Choose a man and have him come down to me. 9 If he is able to fight and kill me, we will become your subjects; but if I overcome him and kill him, you will become our subjects and serve us.”10 Then the Philistine said, “This day I defy the armies of Israel! Give me a man and let us fight each other.” 11 On hearing the Philistine’s words, Saul and all the Israelites were dismayed and terrified…
12 Thoughts Feelings Behaviours
13 Thoughts When we are anxious:we convince ourselves that it is VERY LIKELY that something bad is going to happen. we think that if something bad happens, IT WILL BE THE WORST THING EVER!!!! we believe WE WON’T BE ABLE TO HANDLE the situation (we won’t be able to deal with the awful feeling of anxiety and we won’t be able to deal with the outcome). WE CALL THESE HOT THOUGHTS…
14 Thoughts Hot Thoughts: AutomaticFocused on times when things haven’t gone well Thinking traps (tunnel vision, black and white thinking, mind reading, catastrophizing…) Make our worried feelings stronger
15 "Cool thoughts” (Balanced thoughts)Effortful Balanced – take into account times when things didn’t go terribly Evidence that the negative outcome isn’t likely Evidence that you can cope even if things don’t go perfectly Decrease intensity of our feelings
16 Group Question Take a second to jot down a situation that makes you worried… see if you can identify some hot thoughts and some cool thoughts… Discuss with your group whether you are usually aware of your thoughts when you are feeling nervous or worried and if it’s hard for you to generate cool thoughts when worried.
17 Thoughts Feelings Behaviours
18 David and Goliath 22 David left his things with the keeper of supplies, ran to the battle lines and asked his brothers how they were. 23 As he was talking with them, Goliath, the Philistine champion from Gath, stepped out from his lines and shouted his usual defiance, and David heard it. 24 Whenever the Israelites saw the man, they all fled from him in great fear.
19 Sympathetic Nervous System Parasympathetic Nervous SystemBehaviours Fight or Flight (or Freeze) Response Sympathetic Nervous System Parasympathetic Nervous System
20 Sympathetic Nervous System Parasympathetic Nervous SystemBehaviours Fight or Flight (or Freeze) Response Sympathetic Nervous System Parasympathetic Nervous System
21 Behaviours Anxiety is felt in the body. You might have a sore stomach, headaches, chest pain, or sore shoulder muscles. This may develop into full panic attacks. Anxiety makes us want to AVOID! May be helpful in situations involving a real threat BUT unhelpful when there is only a perceived threat or worry Avoidance stops people from learning to cope with a challenging situation.
22 A chart showing why we get tricked by avoidance…AVOIDANCE BECOMES A HARD HABIT TO BREAK AND IT IS A VERY UNHELPFUL WAY OF COPING WITH ANXIETY IN THE LONG RUN – IT ACTUALLY MAKES THE ANXIETY WORSE OVER TIME! Anxiety Level
23 16 For forty days the Philistine came forward every morning and evening and took his stand.Each time the men heard Goliath, they ran away. This made them feel WAY LESS anxious in the moment once they ran away, but it ended up making them feel WAY MORE anxious over time. They weren’t learning any strategies to try to cope with the anxiety and they weren’t working on how to think about the situation differently.
24 Group Questions When you are anxious, are you more likely to go into fight mode or flight mode? Share some examples that show how avoidance keeps the fear in place (or makes it grow stronger).
25 So what was different about David?32 David said to Saul, “Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him.” 33 Saul replied, “You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a young man, and he has been a warrior from his youth.”
26 So what was different about David?34 But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, 35 I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it.36 Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. 37 The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”
27 So what was different about David?David had faced fears in the past. He didn’t run away from the lion or the bear, so he had confidence in his ability, he knew that he had survived this type of situation before, and so instead of underestimating his abilities, he was able to step forward in faith. We also see that God didn’t have him start off by fighting Goliath – he first learned his skills by dealing with “smaller” situations. This is the same with whatever we are worrying about – it makes sense to start with small steps and then move on to bigger steps.
28 Exposure is effective at reducing anxietyA chart showing what happens when we don’t avoid and we instead face our fears… Anxiety Level Exposure is effective at reducing anxiety
29 David’s Strategies Thoughts Feelings BehavioursBelieved God would protect him. Focused on his successes in the past. Feelings Armed himself with tools that would help him to cope: “I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So he took them off. 40 Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine. Behaviours
30 Thoughts Strategies for you… Feelings BehavioursPray; worship; read the Bible Learn how to think about situations differently Don’t get caught in thinking traps that have you focus only on what’s going wrong or how something bad might happen Read coping statements Practice gratitude Keep a success journal Thoughts Strategies for you… Feelings Learn strategies to help calm your body (relaxation, deep breathing) Take a break Sleep well, eat well Physical activity Good routines Begin taking steps to do things you are avoiding Ask for help Behaviours
31 Group Question Come up with two or three specific strategies to share with the larger group that would help someone cope with anxiety: Strategies to help change thoughts… Strategies to help change behaviours/physical reactions…
32 One more lesson from David…“Gratitude is an attitude that comes out of the habit of giving thanks. All through the Psalms, no matter what David was facing, we read his outpouring of gratitude to God. As he encountered good times and bad times, David always turned back to the truth of God’s goodness. This attitude often carried him through the hardest of situations.”
33 David’s grateful heart…Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations. (Psalm 100:1-5) I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. (Psalm 9:1)
34 Research on gratitude Recently scientists have been researching gratitude and finding all sorts of great outcomes for people who practice gratitude consistently: Better health; Higher levels of positive emotions; More joy, optimism, and happiness; Acting with more generosity and compassion; Feeling less lonely and isolated.
35 Final messages on strategies and gratitude…Just like the stones David put in his pouch, there are very effective skills you can learn to put in your own tool box There are many ways to learn about those skills… (talk to your parents, counselor, pastor, books, good websites, doctor, medication, naturopath…) Youth typically say they want to “figure it out on their own”… but not dealing with anxiety can lead to bigger problems. Encourage each other to get help, be supportive of a friend who is getting help. Pray for and with each other.
36 Final messages on strategies and gratitude…Being anxious doesn’t mean you don’t have strong enough faith. Working on anxiety (or depression or anger) can be really hard work – so just as God has mercy and compassion for us, we must also show kindness and compassion to ourselves. In the meantime, see if some focus on gratitude for all that God has provided and all that He has created you to be, helps to work on those negative/worried thoughts bit by bit…
37 A final message on strategies and gratitude…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj2ofrX7jAk
38 Questions Discussion Prayer