1 Understanding Healthy Financial RelationshipsFacilitator introduces themselves and the program and emphasizes the need to create as safe a space possible where participants can feel heard and supported as we engage in conversation about domestic violence and financial abuse. Please note to the audience that in light of the workshop topic, there may be moments that might trigger some of the participants who might have experienced a similar issue. Facilitator ask for volunteer/scribe to take notes on flip charts. MADE POSSIBLE BY DEVOLOPED BY

2 which focuses on domestic violence and financial empowerment educationOur Expectations This curriculum is a key initiative of Alpha Chi Omega’s partnership with The Allstate Foundation which focuses on domestic violence and financial empowerment education Facilitator: Thanks to everyone for being here to discuss Understanding Healthy Financial Relationships. This curriculum is a key initiative of Alpha Chi Omega’s partnership with The Allstate Foundation which focuses on domestic violence and financial empowerment education. Let’s get started. Facilitator: First, what do we need in our group and this space for us to feel as safe and comfortable as possible so we can be authentic with each other? On a piece of large white paper, scribe writes the responses of the group. If further prompting needed, ask “picture yourself in the safest, most comfortable place you know. What are the qualities and characteristics of that place that make it so? What are some that we could replicate here today?” Words may come up like: respect, empathy, compassion, openness, confidentiality, listening, and respectful communication. Facilitator: These are our expectations for today, and moving forward. If we all feel good about using this as a guide for how we work together, then put up your hand in agreement. Wait for all hands and then move on. Note: The expectations are a good tool to come back to if there are sticky areas in interpersonal dynamics that need to be navigated. Using this as a reference, as everyone agreed to it, can be helpful. DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

3 What is Domestic Violence?a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. Facilitator: To level set our time today, let’s first agree on the definition of domestic violence. According to National Domestic Violence Hotline: Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic violence or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. Facilitator: What is the main reason you think why victims of domestic violence don’t leave the relationship? Hear responses and listen to as many as possible to see if they can come to financial abuse before facilitator lets them know. Have the scribe write answers on flip charts as facilitator confirms them. DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

4 What is Domestic Violence?1 in 4 will be a victim 98% involve financial abuse No. 1 reason victims don’t leave is financial abuse After listening to responses, Facilitator shares: 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime And 98% of abusive relationships involve financial abuse Financial abuse is one of the main reasons women in abusive relationships can’t “just leave”; it’s often why they stay in their relationship…and return to it. Facilitator: In pairs, define what you think financial abuse is and some examples of it. Invite a few participants to share back with the larger group. DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

5 What is Financial Abuse?a tactic used by abusers to control victims by preventing access to money or other financial resources. Facilitator shares definition: Financial abuse is a tactic abusers use to control victims by preventing access to money or other financial resources. Facilitator: As I read the following statements, raise your hand if you think this is a sign of financial abuse: Note: All of these examples are NOT necessarily signs and were added to provide contrast in the discussion. Controlling how money is spent Withholding money or “giving an allowance” Having a joint checking account (NOTE: THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY A SIGN) Stealing from the other person – their identity, money, credit, property Setting a budget (NOTE: THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY A SIGN) Not allowing a partner to work or earn money Preventing the other person from going to school (limits the ability to earn money) Borrowing large sums of money (NOTE: THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY A SIGN) Controlling or not allowing access to financial information like tax returns, checking account statements, credit card statements, etc. DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

6 Facilitator: I’d like to show you a short video and get your reaction.Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XvbpYcgCrk

7 This is the depiction of the true story of Lori, a domestic violence survivor. After the video, Facilitator: This is actually a recreation of a true story of a domestic violence survivor named Lori who had several young children. Her husband allocated a limited amount of money per week for groceries. One day, the check-out clerk asked if Lori wanted to “round up” her payment and get cash back. A light bulb went off for Lori and she began hiding a few dollars at a time each week. It took her two years to save enough cash to hire an attorney to file for divorce. Ask for reactions or comments before moving on. There may be strong feelings that come up, so taking whatever time needed to debrief is important. Facilitator: Take a minute to silently reflect on that video and think of one word that describes how you’re feeling right now. When you have that word, give a thumbs up. Wait for all thumbs and then ask for a few volunteers to share their one word. Let conversation go from there around those feelings and then what do we do with those feelings. This should naturally lead into wanting to take action of some kind. DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

8 Scenario 1: Personal DebtYour partner just lost their job and has approached you with their concerns of not having enough money to get through the rest of the semester. You're obviously concerned and want to help them. They ask if they can stay at your place while they look for a less expensive apartment. Recognizing that they are taking the initiative to be more responsible, you agree to this and let them move in. Fast forward three months and your partner is still living with you. Recently, you’ve noticed that some of the cash you carry in your purse has frequently gone missing. Your partner cares about you, and you don’t think they would do something like that. When you asked, they said you’ve misplaced it and can’t be trusted with money. Facilitator: First, review each of the three Scenario’s below and on the slides. Split the room into groups of 5-8 members. Have them go to different corners or areas of the room. Provide each group with one of the three scenarios. Give the groups 5 – 10 minutes to identify how they would navigate their scenarios, how these scenarios could lead to further damage within a financial/domestic violence context, and role-play how they would have a conversation with a peer who may be in one of these scenarios: DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

9 Scenario 2: Job DisruptionEarlier this year, you and your friends finally decided to sign-up for a semester abroad in Barcelona. To pay for the trip and to save extra spending money you started a part-time job on campus. It’s been going great, but your partner hasn’t been as supportive as you’d like. At first they questioned if you needed a job and more recently they have asked you to call in sick, to take the day off or to hang out with them instead. Last week they called and texted you several times during your shift and even showed up a few times distracting you from customers in need. Your boss has noticed you’re distracted and you’re worried about getting fired. DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

10 Scenario 3: Managing BudgetsYou and your partner have been together for a few years and decided to take the next step and move in with each other after graduation. You found a small apartment– close to both of your jobs – and things have been going well. You’ve both talked about getting married in the future and have been budgeting to save for a wedding. But your partner has started to make purchase decisions without checking in with you. First it was a last minute golfing trip with friends, then a new camera, even though the old one works just fine, then they traded in their car for a new model, adding car payments to their list of expenses. They’ve earned that money, so it’s theirs to spend, but you’re worried. Plus, they won’t let you make some important purchases you really need like a new laptop and cellphone. Encourage group members to provide feedback to each other and thoughts on different ways to approach the scenarios. After 5 – 10 minutes call everyone back to the larger group to discuss best tips and tactics used in conversations. Ensure to always refer back to the signs of financial abuse within these scenarios. Debrief the scenarios and then guide the group into an action mind-set. DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

11 Avoiding Financial AbuseKnow your personal credit score and keep it in the good range Have a credit card in your name and build up credit history Have a drivers license or state ID card Have a checking account in your name Keep copies of all bank account numbers, credit card numbers, etc. Keep copies of your birth certificate and social security card Have a budget and keep to it Have independent control of cash (not after approval of your partner) Ensure your paychecks goes into your own personal account Keep copies of documents proving ownership, like of a car or home Have your own passwords for online accounts and don’t share them Facilitator: One way to take action is understanding how to avoid getting into financially abusive situations. Even the early stages of a dating relationship offer the opportunity to set the stage for financial security and independence for each partner. Here are some tangible ways to set a strong foundation for you and your partner: DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

12 Providing Support Offer support without judgment or criticism.Respect their decisions even if you don’t agree. Help them recognize the signs of domestic violence and financial abuse. Tell them you are concerned for their safety. Let them know that The National Domestic Violence Hotline can help right now: SAFE (7233) Facilitator: If someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, consider the followings ways of providing support: DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

13 Action Planning Gift + Issue ChangeFacilitator: In addition to taking action to protect ourselves and support others, today’s session is also aimed to empower us to find ways to raise awareness of financial abuse and promote financial empowerment and truly positive relationships. We know that the best plans completed for social change follow this simple formula: Gift + Issue = Change Facilitator: We know our issue (domestic violence) and the change we want is financial empowerment that greatly contribute to positive relationships and an end to domestic violence. So, what we want to do is use our gifts (our skills, talents, areas of influence) to create the change we want to see in this issue. We’re going to create an action plan with these guiding components: DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

14 Action Planning Raise awareness about financial abuseCelebrate financial empowerment Support a local domestic violence shelter or service provider DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

15 Personal Action PlanningFacilitator: With our gifts in mind, we are going to take a few minutes to identify a personal commitment for how each one of us will not only share what we’ve learned today during the session, but also how we will use our own unique gifts to further impact a change against domestic violence. Pair up and discuss your action step with a partner. Reflect on the information you’ve learned today and what you have learned in the past about domestic violence and discuss a personal action plan of how your gift plus your issue of domestic violence awareness can come together to raise awareness and make an impact. Afterwards, a few can share their thoughts with the group. Facilitator: (after a few minutes): Could we have a few pairs share their plans with the group? (Wait for hands raised and choose a few to share). DEVELOPED BY MADE POSSIBLE BY

16 A Special Thank You To: Facilitator: We’d like to thank The Allstate Foundation Purple Purse for all the resources needed for this presentation. Allstate and The Allstate Foundation have been dedicated to creating long-term safety and security for survivors through financial empowerment since Since then, The Allstate Foundation has propelled more than 1 million survivors on the path to safety and security. The name of the program is Purple Purse because purple is the national color of domestic violence and a purse is a symbol of a woman’s financial domain. At the end of the program, let the group know that The Allstate Foundation has provided resources and gifts to give to participants including: A purple purse charm which features a true story of a domestic violence survivor who used financial empowerment to break free from an abuser. Clip the charm on your backpack, gym bag or purse to encourage conversation about the topic. Purple Purse Brochures that explain the issue and signs, and what to say if someone thinks they know a person being abused or is an abuser Postcards one-pagers about the Purple Purse program Facilitator: Before we leave, let’s all make a personal commitment to make a difference. Share what we’ve learned about domestic violence and financial abuse with others. Participate in our Chapter’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month activities. Be aware of our own financial empowerment so we are always financially independent.