1 Writing the Personal Statement for Residency
2 Goals for the Personal Statement essay:Get an interview Guide the interviewer
3 Agenda for today What Program Directors are looking for in the Personal Statement essays. How to write the essay.
4 What are the program directors looking for?What are the reviewers trying to learn about you from the essay?
5 For the personal statement, I’m looking for something that lets me know about the applicant as a person, to learn what distinguishes her or him from everyone else. The essay might convey something about what matters to her or him, or particular experiences (which might be unusual experiences or more usual experiences with that person’s unique interpretation).
6 “Make yourself memorable.”Reading a personal statement is like meeting someone. It’s like remembering a face– ‘Oh yes, I remember her.’ Some personality, some individuality should come through. I want to be able to say, “That’s the person who….”
7 Excellent candidates demonstrate “personal growth through reflection.”When did you leave your comfort zone for “the growth zone?”
8 “Focus on events.” “Personal life events that had an impact onyou are important, positive or negative, but don’t spend half the essay on them.”
9 “Grab my attention.” “I want to know who you are, why you are in medical school and why you want to become an anesthesiologist [or xxxx] and where you’re possibly going with this training in the future.”
10 “Show your strengths.” “Somewhere in the essay, work in somecomments about your strengths. All residency directors know that not every student will be at the top of the class or have every possible “stellar resident” attributes. However, some comments about determination, hard work, intellect, values, and special skills will catch my attention.”
11 4 things reviewers want to learn about you
12 1. Your personal story “Who are you?”
13 Personal story “Just a bit if it is conventional, more if it is unusual & relevant.” But actually….
14 Personal story Concrete, not abstract:“I look for personal stories that really tell me something about the applicant. The ‘I love kids’ doesn’t work as well as a patient encounter or any kind of story about how things could have been done better. Insight is always good.”
15 2. Special experiences that guided you to select this specialty“Why do you think you’re well-suited to this field?”
16 Selecting the specialty“Most of the reasons we’ve heard before. But an applicant’s own process of decision making is individual. I want to hear it in his or her own words.”
17 Selecting the specialty“I like the essays that tell about the applicant’s past– if it was a struggle, or why in general he or she would make a good [ pediatrician, anesthesiologist, surgeon, etc.]. Show some insight.”
18 “Let me know what you are looking for ina program. I’m going to invite people to interview who I believe are looking for the things that we offer. Be honest about your future goals. If you want to do clinical or basic science research, make sure you bring it up.”
19 3. Significant academic difficultyAddress it. Don’t ignore it. “What happened? Will this continue to be a problem?”
20 “Not mentioning significant academicdifficulty doesn’t mean we won’t see it on the transcript or read it in the Dean’s letter. This is a good opportunity to explain what happened– and is particularly important if the explanation suggests that the problem is not likely to recur.”
21 4. What the applicant chooses as avocations“What else are you invested in? What matters to you?”
22 Avocations “This might not be appropriate in anessay that is, of necessity, very serious or in which a good portion of effort is devoted to explaining academic difficulty, for example.”
23 Avocations Should come together, make a Point about you.So, think about what Point you want to make.
24 5 things reviewers want to know about youPersonal story (Who are you?) Why this specialty? (How is it a fit for you?) Significant academic difficulty (Should we be worried about choosing you?) Avocations (Who are you?) Why our program? (What are your goals? How is our program a fit?)
25 “The personal statement should bepersonal and real. I use it a lot to structure my interview.”
26 “Above all, be honest. Dishonesty will kill the application.”
27 So, how to write the essay?
28 Use the essay for your application to medical school as a guide.
29 3 areas of attention Content Form Mechanics
30 Create a coherent life storyContent Create a coherent life story
31 Sticking together, Logically connected & intelligiblecoherent Sticking together, Logically connected & intelligible
32 Coherent? It had been dry for a long time. No rain had fallen for more than a month. They had a beautiful home. Now I want to be a dermatologist.
33 A coherent life story Direction Dedication Purpose Energy
34 A coherent life story? 12 year old sister with leukemia diedPlayed basketball for K-State Rafting instructor for 3 years after college Decided to go to medical school
35 A coherent life story? 12 year old sister with leukemia died.Volunteered at hospital 3 years in college. Did research in oncology lab at KU for 2 summers. Decided to go to medical school. Hope to become a pediatric oncologist.
36 Concrete, not abstract
37 The Red Wheelbarrow William Carlos Williamsso much depends upon a red wheel barrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens.
38 Form: How to structure the essayHook your reader. Show logical flow.
39 Many begin with a hook (“It was dank and cold in the dark cave in Borneo when I was startled by the quick movement of the brown tarantula…”), followed by a clever way of telling about every experience the person wants to brag about without seeming to brag, ending with something that circles back to the hook, letting the reader know what an inspired, dedicated, and energetic person the writer is.
40 The formula Begin with a personal story.Go to theme (what the story shows). Circle back at the end.
41 Explore alternatives to the formulaSlight rearrangements A different opening, though not boring.
42 Form No longer than one page. 6 paragraphs maximum.“Leave some white space! One big gray page turns me off.”
43 Touchstones Who are you? (What do you most want us to know about you?)Why this specialty? (Why are you a good fit?) What are you looking for in a program? (Why are you a good fit?)
44 Then write the paragraphs.Block it first. Then write the paragraphs.
45 5 things reviewers want to know about youPersonal story (Who are you?) Why this specialty? (How is it a fit for you?) Significant academic difficulty (Should we be worried about choosing you?) Avocations (Who are you?) Why our program? (What are your goals? How is our program a fit?)
46 Grammar, spelling, diction, syntax, punctuation, tone, and style.Mechanics Grammar, spelling, diction, syntax, punctuation, tone, and style.
47 Personal Statement and CV
48 Personal Statement and CV
49 Mechanics of good writing“Make sure to check for errors– this is the biggest no- no to me. If you don’t write well, it doesn’t bode well for you.”
50 Mechanics of good writingCompetently written in standard English. Workmanlike to Creative: the continuum.
51 “Clarity is fundamental.”
52 Clarity “If you don’t have confidence in yourself as awriter, keep it simple.” “ Please! One idea per sentence.”
53 “ Don’t be dramatic or effusive.”Tone and style “ Don’t be dramatic or effusive.”
54 Tone and Style “Be careful in touting your accomplishments. Tone is important. Sounding egotistical or boastful makes a bad impression.”
55 Proofreading & editingError- free!
56 Proofreading and editing“Get input from others. Have at least one other person read the essay.” “Good writing is re-writing. Read and edit it several times.” “Let it cool off before submitting it with the application. If it sounds corny or trite to you or perhaps even too strong, rewrite!”
57 Avoid SAT words unless they give precision to your ideas.Clarity Avoid SAT words unless they give precision to your ideas.
58 Eschew Obfuscation Write clear prose
59 It’s raining At the present time we are experiencing precipitation.
60 Short, simple words Not: But: Contemplate Think Endeavor TryEquitable Fair, Equal Facilitate Help Magnitude Size Require Need Terminate End Utilize Use
61 Avoid Pompous Diction Endeavor – Try Initiate – BeginIs desirous of – Wants Cognizant of – Knows Ascertain – Find out Implement – Start, create, carry out, begin Apprise– Inform Eventuate – Happen Transpire – Happen Transmit – Send
62 Clarity = Economy + Precision
63 “Give us a coherent personal story written in clear standard English.”The program director’s plea
64 Successful Personal Statement EssaysExamples
65 #1 I could not wipe the smile off my face. I was grinning ear to ear at the sight of this tiny human just brought into the world and placed on her mother’s chest. I thought, ‘How did I get so lucky to be able to experience this intimate and special moment?’ That is when everything clicked. I want to take care of women in their happiest and most dire times of their lives with lifelong continuity of care. Obstetrics and Gynecology fits perfectly.
66 # 2 During the summer before my senior year of college, I worked with my father doing construction and remodeling, as I had done many other summers. One hot day in late July, we were putting the finishing touches on a new roof, when a ladder platform collapsed and my father fell 25 feet onto the concrete below. He was immediately flown to the nearest tertiary care medical center. There were no visceral injuries, but he had broken eleven bones, including spine, rib, ankle, and foot fractures, as well as a shattered distal humerus and bilateral hip fractures. The extensive efforts of the orthopedic surgeons restored him to nearly the same level of functioning that he possessed before this horrific injury.
67 Many students proclaim that a single life experience provided them with the inspiration for their future careers. I am not that way. I wanted to be an orthopedic surgeon long before my father’s accident. But I learned from that experience that the threat of crippling musculoskeletal injuries can be nearly as troubling as life-threatening organ damage. I also learned that while most orthopedic surgeons may not routinely perform life-saving operations, the impact of the orthopedic surgery team on patients’ quality of life can be immeasurable.
68 # 3 As a first generation Hmong American, I have had a unique journey in life. My parents fled the Vietnam War to live as refugees here in the United States. Although no longer faced with the dangers of war, they endured many cultural and financial hardships. Even as I child, I recognized their struggles and was motivated to help…. I overcame many obstacles to achieve my accomplishments, understanding the meaning of hard work and discipline. My experiences have strengthened my character, work ethic, and motivation to succeed.
69 # 4 Slithery boa constrictor tattoos snaking up the arms of our first patient, Sean, seemed to hiss to me, “ssssave usss,” as I watched the doctor wield a laser and zap them into oblivion. Every month before medical school, I volunteered at Erase the Past, a tattoo removal clinic that helped people reject gangs, drug use, and other illegal activities in favor of volunteering and working in their community. After Sean’s treatment, I bandaged the bloody and faded boa constrictors; Sean told me that removing the tattoos meant he could walk tall down the street without fear or shame. Seeing how a dermatologic procedure could initiate a positive change in patients like Sean was my first taste of dermatology and solidified my decision to become a physician.
70 Throughout medical school I remained interested in dermatology, gravitating towards lectures about systemic diseases with skin manifestations such as celiac disease or sarcoidosis. During my third year of medical school, I shadowed in the dermatology clinic whenever possible and saw again how treating a skin disease could change someone’s life for the better. One patient, a Libyan immigrant named “Leo,” illustrated this perfectly. His arms, legs and body were covered by hypopigmented areas, his dark skin interrupted by plaques of pink and white, which made his skin appear like a polka dotted landscape. He suffered from systemic psoriasis that for many years remained untreated, plaguing him with the taunts of peers. Once he immigrated to the United States, dermatologists treated his psoriasis, so he no longer itched and the plaques stopped spreading all over his body.
71 I would like to join a residency program that emphasizes patient care and has a solid foundation in both the science and technical aspects of dermatology. One of the reasons I have remained interested in this field is the interplay between dermatology with both internal medicine and surgery. Caring for patients is my number one priority—I love seeing patients in clinic, getting to know each person and then effecting some difference in his or her life. I also enjoy the procedural aspect of dermatology and that the field is constantly evolving to include the latest technology.
72 After my residency, I hope to stay in an academic setting, so I can continue to learn and grow as a physician and teach the next generation of medical professionals. As the director of the women’s health night at a student-run free clinic, I enjoyed helping first and second year medical students with each of their patients, for example, by explaining why an accurate blood pressure is so important during pregnancy or why a woman with a history of a deep vein thrombosis should probably stop her oral contraceptive.
73 Dermatology provides me with an outlet for this continued learning and teaching, while also allowing me to help change the lives of patients in a very concrete way. At Erase the Past, we were able to help people by removing tattoos from their skin. As a dermatologist in the future, I hope I can help others move forward with their lives by diagnosing and treating their skin conditions.
74 # 4 Urology strikes a nice balance between the immediate gratification of the surgical enterprise and the satisfaction of developing long-term patient relationships. Few fields offer such a diverse realm of practice. I feel that my personality is well suited to this mixture of traits, and have thus decided to pursue a career in urology.
75 My interest in urology began as I watched my grandfather succumb to metastatic prostate cancer. He exhibited symptoms early on, but the embarrassment he felt from having problems with something as basic as urination prevented him from seeking help promptly. When he finally received the diagnosis of stage IV prostate cancer years later, palliative care was the only available option. It haunts me to think of the pain that could have been avoided had he not been too self-conscious to seek treatment earlier. Through this experience, I resolved to become the type of physician to whom patients feel comfortable bringing their most sensitive issues.
76 During my time as a third year student in the urology clinic, I spoke with many patients suffering from infertility, impotence, or incontinence who reminded me of my grandfather. Patients often expressed the feeling of vulnerability their diagnoses carried, and I learned I found it quite satisfying to help them deal with the psychological, as well as the medical, implications of their illnesses. Interactions of this type come naturally to me; for instance, I was elected president of my undergraduate fraternity in large part because my peers felt comfortable coming to me with their problems. Urology offers me a unique opportunity to provide the type of compassionate care I find most satisfying.
77 My third year of medical school also awakened in me a love of surgeryMy third year of medical school also awakened in me a love of surgery. Hours that dragged on during other rotations flew by unnoticed in the operating room. A major part of surgery’s appeal is the prospect of intervening definitively on a patient’s behalf. I knew I was hooked when I witnessed the dramatic improvement of a patient after the extraction of a kidney stone - it was hard to believe that the calm man I met on morning rounds was the same person that had been writhing in pain only one day earlier. The ability to quickly and completely relieve that patient’s suffering impressed me, and is one of the reasons I’ve chosen to become a surgeon.
78 Another draw is the ability to attain and refine a precise physical skill, a process I’m familiar with from my time as a musician. Surgical training requires steadfast dedication, and I feel that the sixteen years I’ve devoted to playing the double bass demonstrates the level of commitment I will bring to my surgical training. As a urologist, I’ll be able to perform an unparalleled variety of surgical procedures without sacrificing the ability to medically treat disease. As mentioned above, I also have a particular interest in caring for the urologic patient population. A career in urology suits me well.
79 I seek a residency program that will afford me the high-volume operative experience necessary to become an excellent surgeon. Although I feel it is premature to choose a specific fellowship, I do intend to enter academic medicine, and thus desire exposure to all of the urologic subspecialties. A career in academics will allow me to continue with clinical research as well as teach, something I’ve enjoyed doing with younger students at a local health clinic. I look forward to exploring further my clinical and academic interests in a urologic residency.